There's Something about DEATH!!
by The Clow Hatter
Summary: The CV: SotN Gang, the Author is high...just your typical anti Chibi Usa ficcy.


There's Something about Death!!!  
  
NOTE: This is an old fic I've posted when I was working for Project CURE. (Chibi Usa is Really Evil), so expect this to have lots of flames afterwards because it's a bashing Maria and Chibi Usa. (Die little pink SPORE!!!) CastleVania SoTN is owned by Konami. All characters based in this story are fictional and belong to their rightful owners, so please don't sue   
me. Enjoy!  
  
YingGirl: Yeah yeah, another CastleVania story. I love that game cause I'm   
so damn good in it. Whoo!!!  
Alucard: You just wanted to save Richter so you can "play" him afterwards.  
YingGirl: *backs away* Eww!! Hentai!!! *waves her tail*  
Alucard: Just start the damn story.  
YingGirl: Alright, alright, stop being a grump just because you haven't   
gotten laid for like 500 years.  
Alucard: WHAT?!! WHY YOU LIL!!! *starts to strangle YingGirl at her neck*  
YingGirl: AH!!! Enjoy the Story folks!!  
  
It all started on a lovely day. Birds were singing, bones were clattering,   
and two unlawful lackies were in the middle of a fight.  
Slogera: Ha!! Most people says I'm the man!!! So get lost Gay-bon!!!  
Gaibon: I'm not damn gay!!!! *begins throwing fireballs*  
Slogera: *uses his trident to block them* You're been hanging around me for   
years, you purple flying freak!!!  
Gaibon: I'm NOT purple. It's a shade of lavender blue.  
Slogera: Yeah...my @$$!!!  
**Chibi Usa walks by, holding her Luna-P ball**  
Chibi Usa: Hi there. I'm lost. Can you help me find my Manaru-san?  
Slogera & Gaibon: *turn to Chibi Usa* NO!!! *both resort back to their   
argument*  
Chibi Usa: Damnit!!  
Gaibon: Well at least my last name isn't BERGHERIN!!!!  
Slogera: THAT DOES IT!!! *whips out his trident attack on Gaibon*  
Chibi Usa: And these were the two that the YingGirl can't defeat? *sighs*   
Luna-P! Kitty Magic!!! *turns her Luna-P ball into an umbrella and starts   
hypnotizing the two henchmen*  
Gaibon: *gets hypnotized* Uh...what were we fighting about?  
Slogera: *gets hypnotize also* Damn, that girl has some strong stuff.  
  
Meanwhile in a confessional booth.  
Death: *enters the booth* Forgive me, for I have sinned.  
Shaft: *sitting next to Death* But I'm not that type a priest damnit!!!  
Death: *snarls* Be that one or I'll send your soul burning in hell for all   
eternity!!  
Shaft: ....  
Death: .....  
Shaft: Go on. Tell me your confession.  
Death: *pulls out a hanker-chief to wipe the tears near his eye sockets* It's   
the master. Everything I do for him, the dishes, the impalement, the   
torturing of the prisoners...IT'S NOT ENOUGH!!! *blows his nasal air hole*  
Shaft: I see. You seem to be suffering from some entrapment stress   
appraisal.  
Death: I'm his Best Right-hand man!!! And the master still treats my well   
being as garbage!! I can't take it anymore!!! It's stressing my status queue   
and if I keep this us his bastard son will rid of me once and for all!!!   
What can I do?!!!  
Shaft: I say get rid of his son if he's the one causing all this inflicting   
pain.  
Death: Yes! That's what I'll do!! I'll teach how cruel I can be with his   
son!! Then once I'm finish with him, I shall do it on the master himself!!!   
*floats away*  
Shaft: *looks around* Can someone get me out of this insane story?  
Author: NO!!!  
  
Elsewhere in the Transylvania Woods.  
Richter: Bout time we were in this story.  
Maria: *speaking in a fake French accent* Perhaps I can practice my voice   
acting.  
YingGirl: *covers her ears* Uh...SHUT UP WOMAN!!!  
Alucard: *swinging his sword back and forth to create a pathway in the   
woods* Does any one of you mortals know where we're heading?  
Richter/Maria/YingGirl: uhh....  
Alucard: Figures. If a saiyan is writing this fic, there's bound to be   
stupidity in it.  
All DBZ Fans: HEY!!!  
YingGirl: Well, we're almost there.  
Richter: We're lost aren't we?  
Maria: *still in her fake French accent* Can we go home?  
YingGirl: Damn woman, who wants to see you chasing after Alucard?  
Richter: Hee hee, chasing Alucard, funny...  
Alucard: Am I the only one that has the upper hand in this stupid fiction???  
YingGirl: Hmm...  
**Chibi Usa appears, hiding behind the bushes**  
Chibi Usa: You'll pay for destroying my relationship with my lover you   
little monkey B*tch!!!  
Gaibon: Uh...what are we suppose to do?  
Chibi Usa: Don't you guys see?!! YingGirl is destroying the youth in this   
stupid fanfic!! WE must get rid of her.  
Gaibon: How?  
Chibi Usa: *looks around* Hmmm...  
Slogera: I'M THE MAN! I'M THE MAN!!!  
  
Back At the Castle, in the Master's Chamber.  
Dracula: WHAT?!!!  
Shaft: You "Best Man" is after punishing Alucard again.  
Dracula: Damn him!!! I want to give my bastard son the final blow!!!  
Shaft: Pardon?  
Dracula: I want to be the one to submit the final blow to him. How dare he   
doesn't invite me to do so!!! The nerve of that insolent Grim Reaper!!!   
*stands up and teleports away*  
Shaft: .... *looks around* Can someone tell me what's going on with the   
Master?  
**silence**  
Shaft: So be it. *humbly walks away*  
  
Back in the Transylvania Wood.  
Chibi Usa: Damnit! Is anyone of you idiots worth to fight Alucard?!!!  
Gaibon: Me confused now.  
Chibi Usa: You ask for it!!! *begins singing her incest song*  
Slogera: *runs around in circles* I'M THE MAN!!! I'M THE MAN!!! I'M THE   
MAN!!!  
Richter: *covering his ears* What wretch plays such a horrible tune?!!  
Maria: I think I like that song.  
YingGirl: *turns to Alucard* And this is the chick you end up with in the   
ending of SoTN?  
Alucard: *narrow eyes* Shut up Ying.  
**Death appears, how? Don't ask why!!!**  
Death: At last! The bastard son of my master!!  
Richter: Holy crap.  
Alucard: *glares at Ying angrily* Ying...  
YingGirl: Well I had to finish this story anyway.  
Death: *raises his scythe* Time to die so I may enjoy tormenting your father   
later!  
YingGirl: Richter!! Holy Cross NOW!!!  
Richter: We're NOT Pokemon Ying...  
YingGirl: Sorry.  
Maria: *begins to sing* Rain or shine, I'm happiest, when I'm with Tuxedo   
Mask...  
YingGirl: *cringes* Bah!!! Spore!!!  
Alucard: SOUL STEAL!!! *throw a spell which instantly kills Maria*  
Maria: AHHH!!! *dies*  
Richter: Oh my God! You killed Maria!!!  
YingGirl: You damphile!!!  
Slogera: *runs by* I'M THE MAN!!! I'M THE MAN!!! I'M THE MAN!!!  
Chibi Usa: *chases after Slogera* Come back here, you stupid dino hybrid!!!  
Gaibon: Me don't know what's going on.  
Richter/YingGirl/Alucard/Death: .....  
Death: Can we get this over!! I want to kill you soon so I can teach your   
father a lesson!!  
YingGirl: And that lesson would be...?  
Death's Appetence (a.k.a.: DA): *sitting on Death's shoulder* That Alucard   
is a BIG MOMMA'S BOY!!!  
Alucard: WHAT?!!!  
Richter/YingGirl: *snicker*  
Slogera: *yells on the top of his lungs* I AM THE MAN!!!!  
Alucard: *sighs* His servants get stupider by the month.  
**Dracula appears**  
Dracula: How dare you!! And to all the things I did for you?!!!  
Death: Eep.  
Death's Appetence (a.k.a.: DA): Ha ha.  
Dracula: I would send you raging back into the inferno of Hell itself!!!  
Richter: Dude, my curse makes Dracula not even move from the castle.  
YingGirl: It's my story, so nyah! :P  
Death: But I haven't touched your son yet! I was waiting for you to aid me   
in defeating him!!!  
Death's Appetence (a.k.a.: DA): No you...*Death raises his bony hands and   
covers DA's mouth)  
Death: Shut up.  
Alucard: Why does this involve around me?!!!  
Richter: Maybe cause you ARE the bastard son of Dracula.  
YingGirl: *turns to Dracula, trying to act sickenly sweet and cute*   
Uh...Mister Temps sir? If you're so pissed with you son maybe you can go see   
a psychologist?  
Alucard/Dracula/Death: WHAT?!!!  
YingGirl: If that doesn't work, always blame your problems and attack   
fiercely at the one thing that has no defenses...*points to Chibi Usa*   
Attack her.  
Chibi Usa: *stops chasing Slogera* Damnit!!!  
Dracula: *smirks* I like that.  
Death: It's better than going to a nut house.  
Chibi Usa: CRAP!!!  
**Dracula and Death start throwing their attacks at Chibi Usa**  
Chibi Usa: NO!!!! SLOGERA!! GAIBON!!! HELP ME, YOU IDIOTS!!!  
Gaibon: Oh...pretty colors.  
Slogera: *still running around in circles* I'M THE MAN!!!  
Dracula: Have at you!! *throws fireballs at Chibi Usa*  
Chibi Usa: *gets hit* Ah!! Mommie!!  
Death: I shall feast on your soul tonight. *uses his scythe to hack Chibi Usa   
to pieces*  
Richter: I think we go now.  
YingGirl: Uh yeah.  
Alucard: I'm not asking. DEFINITELY NOT ASKING. *walks away*  
Richter: Dude, what's up his ass?  
**Dracula and Death are still throwing their attacks at Chibi Usa**  
  
Eprologue.  
YingGirl: *sitting in a chair as she closes a book* And ends our tale.  
Librarian: That's me seat, hee hee...  
Alucard: That was the most Stupidest Anti Chibi Usa Fanfic I have ever read.  
YingGirl: You couldn't do better so nyah! Anyway, so what did happen to our   
characters? Well Death and Dracula manage to solve their differences and both   
worked together to make CastleVania run pretty well. 200 years later,   
CastleVania became a really cool theme park, but what really bites aren't   
Dracula's fangs...it's the price!! *runs her neck* Heh heh, moving along   
Richter became the next president and everyone was happy when he made   
Slogera his vice prez. Cool no?  
Alucard: Enthralled.  
Librarian: Tee hee hee hee...  
YingGirl: And Gaibon. Well he became one with nature and yet another great   
philosopher. Although he came to be the ONLY philosopher after he destroyed   
the true remaining works of the others philosophers. He's now joined   
Green Peace to stop the hurting of his fellow monster buddies.  
Alucard: You all know what happen to Chibi Usa. Pieces of her remains can be   
found in the Transylvania Woods.  
YingGirl: And finally Alucard is dating a local Street Fighter gal, named   
Chun-Li. Although, rumors of his sex deprival may think he's a pimp.  
Alucard: *glares at YingGirl* O.O WHAT?!!!  
  
The End. 


End file.
